A Breastfeeding, Homeschooling Mom's Journal

this is the end...

2010-08-03T13:20:00.000-07:00

So I had to go to the doctor today. I have chronic pain issues and just plain old issues. And each of these issues now require medication so I've had to actively wean Isaiah this week. He's just nursing at night now and I'm trying to be done by friday. I'm sure there will be much crying but he'll be okay. My goal was 2 years and we did that and then some. I'm sure there will be much crying on my part too. I'll officially be leaving baby land forever this time.

Isaiah turns 2

2010-07-14T13:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm still nursing my son.
Yes, he did just turn two.
No, I don't know when he'll wean.
Yes, I'm quite sure it will be before college.

No, it's not causing his teeth to rot.
No, it is certainly not spoiling him.
Yes, he does eat other food.
No, it won't cause him to be too thin or too chubby.

Yes, he does squirm a lot.
Yes, he does refuse to be covered up now.
No, it doesn't hurt.
Yes, I know it's because he's healthy and strong.

No, I don't rush him.
No, I don't think he's done yet.
Yes, I will know when we're done.
No, it won't be today.

Yes, sometimes I'm a bit "touched out".
Yes, sometimes I say no to him.
No, that doesn't mean I have to stop.
Yes, I'm very happy with this nursing relationship.

funny thing about nursing a toddler #212

2010-06-15T04:52:00.000-07:00

Isaiah was nursing before naptime yesterday. He was getting that sleepy, zombie look on his face so I thought he was ready to fall asleep. Then all the sudden he pops off, tells me all about some big truck and how it drives here and there and all around and then latched back on and went to sleep.

Isaiah turns 2 next month and I know these days are almost done. Part of me is ready to be alone in this body, not have to worry about having a beer or taking some motrin. But I just can't believe we are here already. Why does it have to go so fast?

Last week Isaiah was pretty sick. He had hand, foot, mouth disease- a virus that kids often get. He had a high fever and a sore throat that made him scream in pain. He didn't even want water because it hurt his throat so much; but he would breastfeed. It was like having a newborn again. And although at times I found myself getting frustrated with so much time on the couch- I tried to be mindful that this was likely the last time I would ever be doing this. I was so grateful we were still nursing.

I am so grateful.

homeschooling lesson- spring harvest jelly

2010-05-02T18:32:00.000-07:00

Last fall the kids and I gathers acorns to make pancakes. This spring we gathered dandelions to make jelly. Our yard had plenty so we didn't have to even leave home for this project.

We needed 4 cups of the yellow parts of the flower- that is a lot of dandelions!

Isaiah helped too!

This was his contribution.

See the rest of the story here.

the benefits of breastfeeding my potty-trainer

2010-04-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

22 months and still nursing happily- Isaiah and I are both happy with keeping this relationship going. I had never considered before today the benefits of nursing during potty training! Yesterday we got home from seeing the Tigers and we were all tired out from a long, fun day outside. I wanted to just crash on the couch but Isaiah declared he had to poop. He'd only been on the potty once before just as a joke more than anything, but I believed him and put him on there- and he DID IT! Pee and poop. And he seemed to understand how to make it all work on demand! Yes!! I love child-directed parenting. He was ready, so he asked to do it!

Today, so far, he's been dry all day and has asked to go when needed. The benefits of breastfeeding have been that I don't have to reward him with junky candy or wasteful stickers- he just has a little milk when he's done. He feels happy, supported and very big!

thoughts on nursing a toddler

2010-03-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

I've never made it this far into the breastfeeding relationship. Solstice was only just over a year and Aiden was about 18 months when they weaned. Isaiah is 20 months now and this is a whole new thing.
1. I've never nursed a talking child before. It adds a whole new dimention to "don't talk with your mouth full".
2. When the first breast is out of fast flowing milk, Isaiah will sign "all done" and then quickly sign "milk" meaning he wants to easier milk that would come from switching sides.
3. Often I am awaken as night to Isaiah climbing over me to get to the breast with more milk. He just helps himself (which is good) but he finds it easier to go over me than around.

tick tock

2010-02-18T14:12:00.000-08:00

Isaiah is still breastfeeding on demand. He doesn't ask as often throughout the day, but he really hasn't slowed down yet.

But I know the time is coming. Aiden and Solstice were both weaned at this age. I've been hoping all along to make it to his second birthday and I have no reason to think we won't.

But everyday that goes by and gets us closer to his birthday makes me a little sad. I really hate the idea of giving up this part of our relationship. I know new and exciting things will happen in his second year but there is something so magical about right now.

I love that he can ask for milk and tell me when he's all done. I love how we communicate when he's busy nursing. I love how he fits perfectly on my lap.

Why do they have to grow up?

Acorn Pancakes

2009-09-17T12:26:00.001-07:00

The kids and I are on a great adventure this year- we are having a go at homeschooling. So far, it's been a lot of work! but very fun and a great challenge. We are currently studying life in Colonial America. They have never learned much of basic American history so I thought it would be a great place to start. We are also doing a basic study in plants (classification, identification). So, we those topics in mind, I thought it might be fun to go out in the woods and harvest acorns to make into colonial-style pancakes. My main objectives were to get them to be able to identify the kind of acorns we wanted and then to get a good understanding of how hard people used to have to work to get their food.
I think I we managed the last objective.
Here is the process for eating acorns- it took all evening yesterday to prepare them, the roasted over night and then we made the pancakes this morning for breakfast.
We gathered about half of a plastic grocery sack full. I didn't want to empty out the park but I wanted to make sure we had enough. It ended up making just a cup of acorn meal. About 1/3 of the acorns were bad- full of worms or rotten.

It works best to boil them in the shell for a few minutes so the knife can go in easier.

I have a great knife for this task- the end broke off so there is a blunt end that I used to dig into the shell. This took a long time but was the kind of repetative kitchen task that soothes me.
So then you have a pot of acorn meat. This needs to be boiled to remove the tannins. It smells SO good while you are doing this! Kind of like carmel and wine and brown sugar. Yum.

So I let it boil for 10 minutes and then I strained it out through a cloth in a strainer. Then you have to repeat this process over and over until the water starts to run clearer. I tasted it after a few times and it was still pretty bitter (like crazy strong walnuts) so I kept going. I'm not sure how many times I did this, maybe 10.
Then I ran the acorn meat through the food processer to make it more like a meal. If I were going to do this ever again, I would get some kind of flour mill. The food processer just didn't really work for this task.
Then the roasting. I spread it thin on cookie sheets and put it in the oven set on a real low temp (260). I roasted it like this for about 2 hours before bed (stirring ever once in awhile). Then at bed time I turned off the oven but the pilot light kept it hot enough to continue roasting over night.

In the morning, it was much darker and the taste was real mellow. I ran it through the food processer again to try and get it more like a meal, but like I said, it just isn't meant for that. So it was the best it was going to get.

This is the recipe I used:
1 cup flour
1 cup acorn meal
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
1 egg
1 1/4 cup milk
3 Tbs vegetable oil

We ate them with raspberry syrup we made this summer after we picked raspberries on Solstice's b-day. We also boiled up the apples we found in the woods yesterday. Yumm.

So, what did the kids think?
The pictures speak loud and clear:

Was it worth the effort? Yes.
Will we do it again anytime soon? No.

weight loss

2009-02-27T06:30:00.000-08:00

One of my New Years resolutions was to eat better and hopefully lose some weight. I refuse to diet ever again. Life is too short to not eat chocolate. I've been trying to eat as Vegan as possible. And I've been doing pretty well with that. I'm certainly not 100%.
For breakfast I've been eating oatmeal everyday. I make it on the stove with just some salt. Sometimes I put raisins or apples in it. I mix it with some soymilk after its cooked. I'm really loving it. And it keeps me feeling full for hours and hours.

For lunch lately I've been eating hommus with crackers. The crackers are extra high fiber crackers. I don't have any info to back this up, but my theory is that lots of fiber has to be good for a diet and must balance the higher carb rate. I don't eat a lot because I'm usually still pretty full from the oatmeal.
I eat whatever everyone else is having for dinner. This is where I have a harder time staying vegan. I use a lot of milk in baking and in the winter soups I make. But whenever I can leave out the cheese for my own dinner I do. And I've tried to make sure that half of my dinner is made of vegetables. If I want more I make myself have more vegetables too. It seems to fill me up just as well and gets me to eat more raw vegetables (which I love but have a harder time eating in the winter).
And then the biggest change for me is NO snacking after dinner. I'm a huge snacker. I love popcorn or ice cream in the evening. But no more. Lately Andre and I have been making a pot of tea in the evening and I just sip on that. Its been a good routine.
I've not been strict and there are cookies and bites of chocolate mixed in there for balance. Like I said, I don't want to feel like I'm dieting.
And its working. Since december I've lost over 20 pounds. I don't weigh myself often. I think it's just evil to have those numbers in my head all the time. But I weighed myself at my sisters this week and was so surprised by what I saw! I knew I was doing good because my clothes fit so different but still I was shocked!
Guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.
And of course, I'll keep my biggest diet tip- Breastfeeding burns about 500 calories a day!

i want

2009-02-25T11:18:00.000-08:00

*a spurtle

*a woven basket to carry to the farmers market this summer

*this book about knitting socks

*a SIGG

2009-02-22T14:23:00.000-08:00

knitting ideas for the year-

2009-02-22T11:10:00.000-08:00

I've been sick and while laying around I've been thinking about what I want to knit this year.
I've accomplished one of my knitting goals this week, I learned to cable knit. I was trying to find a pattern for a cable knit oven mitt but I haven't had any luck yet. I was thinking it would be a good holiday gift idea. (I know its early to be thinking of these things, but with a baby this year, its gonna take a long time if I want to make gifts this year). I can find plenty of cable knit mittens but kitchen mitts could need to be thicker and I'm not sure how to do that with cables.
Anyway- I did find this non-cabled, felted pattern I might do:

For Easter I think these would be fun:

I want to make this crown for Isaiah's first birthday:

I also found an apron pattern but I'm not sure about it. I love the idea. I might just figure one out on my own.

peek a boo

2009-02-19T08:58:00.000-08:00

I know the picture is terrible- it was kinda dark in the living room last night while we were hanging out on the couch. Andre and I were playing peek-a-boo with Isaiah and he was laughing and playing along. Then he took the blanket and started playing too! He's never done that before. It seems so early for him to be able to play games and know he's being funny! I was laughing so hard I was crying! It was great! Andre and I had him playing again today too.

another milestone

2009-02-16T14:07:00.000-08:00

or two I guess.
Isaiah now has two teeth. He's doing a great job learning not to bite me and I'm very grateful for that.
Today he was sitting in his car/walker thingy and I fed him half of a cheerio and put the other half on his tray. He promptly picked it up, between thumb and finger, and ate it. It doesn't sound like much, but it's a huge milestone for babies.
It means that he understands eating and will soon be feeding himself. Of course it also means we have to watch him non-stop because everything will now be making its way into his mouth. Before, he could only really grab bigger objects, things I didn't have to worry about him eating, but now everything (fuzzies, dirt, etc) is fair game.
Also, he's going to be crawling any day now.
These seven months have gone by so fast!

2009-02-06T09:20:00.000-08:00

Last weekend we did the Dedication service at church for Isaiah. My church doesn't do baptism for babies, we believe its a decision that the child should make for themselves when they are older. But we do make a commitment before the Lord to submit the child to God's will and to raise that child according to God's Word and God's ways. (okay, I copied that last bit, it was much more articulate that I was in trying to describe it). It meant a lot to me and I was so happy and honored that our families came together to celebrate Isaiah.

milk coma

2009-02-06T09:17:00.000-08:00

I just had to share that picture. He fell asleep nursing, and I couldn't put him down- he was too cute. Then he smiled in his sleep and the little milk drool was running down his chin.
It is good.

Hope

2009-01-20T09:46:00.000-08:00

I stopped the whirlwind of my day to watch the inauguration of President B. Obama today. I sat, with baby on breast, with a pile of diapers at my feet waiting to be folded, with lentils simmering on the stove for dinner, with apples waiting to be turned to baby food, with the wash and dryer running, I stopped to breath a deep breath of hope.
I'm glad that this is the man that my children will have clear memories of as president. I hope he can be a shining example to them that one person can really make a difference, can really change the world.
And then I thought about myself and if I've really changed the world in anyway, in folding diapers and cooking lentils.
But each leader, each Obama, Clinton, Kennedy, each Washington, had a mother who cooked for them and kept them well, who taught them about love, and hope and what is right and what is wrong. I hope I can mother in the shadow of those women who taught their children so well.
God bless America.

ahhhh winter

2009-01-19T08:04:00.000-08:00

Winter is tough on the stay-at-home mom types. I realized this morning that I have not left the house since thursday. And that was just for a chiropractor appointment. I have not spoken to another adult besides Andre (and he is working a ton right now so that isn't even too much) in days. When Solstice and Aiden were babies I had other mom friends with babies the same age and we were pretty good at visiting each other so no one went coo-coo.
I'm feeling a bit coo-coo at this point.
I wish it would at least warm up enough that I could take the kids out for a walk or something. Stir-crazy is not a good place to be.
I'm soooo looking forward to Burns Night this weekend!!

teething begins

2009-01-16T07:29:00.000-08:00

I swore to myself when I found out I was pregnant this time that I would take in every moment and not let it fly. I would try to memorize every sensation. I would try to take a mental picture at every smile, at every feeding, at every moment of peaceful baby sleep.
But somehow six months has flown by anyway.
And now Isaiah is teething.
He's also pretty good at eating. He loves apples and potatos mixed together. He can almost sit up on his own. He's taking less naps. He's waving (whether on purpose or not, we're not sure). He can play "get Daddys nose" and even play it with Mommy or sister or brother.
But back to teething. This is the milestone that has hit me the hardest. This is the big sign that he is entering into kid-dom.
He's such a wonderful baby, so happy and joyful. Teething has taken a toll on his happiness. He's been very miserable. Crying and even screaming at times.
I feel so bad for him. It must be awful to suddenly have this pain that you can't understand and it just never seems to get better- and it hurts most when you are doing what usually soothes you the most! Eating hurts him at times. That just makes me sad for him.
Overall he's handling it quite well. He's still more smiliey than any other baby I've ever seen.
Even last night when everything fell apart, he was able to give me a smile. He was up a lot last night. He's wake up crying, screaming, unable to be soothed. And then at one of the worst points of the night, I suddenly get a terribly bloody nose! That was just crazy! (of course Andre would have gotten up and helped me if I'd asked, for the record, but I really try not to bug him when he has to go out in the world and work all day) So I was running back and forth between trying to calm Isaiah and taking care of my nose. Life is crazy. But once he got calmed, he gave me a big smile and weent back to sleep.
I hope this tooth will break all the way through soon and we can have a little break before the next one starts.

chiropractic care

2009-01-08T17:41:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine from church mentioned to me a few monthes ago that she met this man in her small group that was a chiropractor and that his speciality was exactly the kind of injury that I have. She told me I needed to make an appointment. I was excited about the information but put off calling for a long time. After the accident I spent all my time in appointments. I think I was seeing around 15 specialists all in all. I just got tired of doctors and being messed with. So the idea of starting in on appointments with someone again was kinda scary. But I was complaining again and she totally called me out on not calling yet.
So I did finally. I've been so impressed with this doctor. I am hopeful for the first time in years that this injury might actually be healed. I had resigned myself to accepting that it might only be managed and I'd be dealing with it forever.
He's said he is absolutely certain that he can fix this neck injury. I've never had anyone say they think its completely fixable. And if the improvement that came from this first week is any measure, than I really do believe him.
He's explained to me how the top vertebrae (c1 and c2) are moved and how they have been compressing my brain stem all this time. He explained how that can lead to all kinds of feelings of depression.
That really hit me. I thought I was done being angry about this accident. I thought I'd put all that behind me, but this has stirred up those feeling again. If it hadn't happened, or if I'd had someone help me right away, I wonder what all would have been different. I've thought of this before, of course. But specifically the issues I had with depression and what actions that led to... those are the things that I regret the most. What if the depression hadn't crept into my life? What if I hadn't needed to cope with that depression? What if I hadn't been trying to cope and hide those feelings I was having?
I don't want to get caught up in the "what if" game. But its been on my mind today and I thought (hoped) writing it out might help those what ifs get out of my head so I can really truly start to heal.

grateful for...

2009-01-04T13:24:00.000-08:00

Sometimes its easy to loose sight of all the blessings I've received this last year. On a day like today when my head and neck hurt so much I can almost not stand it, it's hard to feel grateful for anything. But I have to stop myself and think of all the wonderful things that have happened to me and what a wonderful life I really do have.
This last year was especially full of blessings. Here are a few of the biggest (in no real order, because how could I even try and compare them?)

1. Isaiah Jack Henry was born. He was such a surprise addition in my life and the pregnancy was such a crazy ride but he is such a joy!! He is so full of light and love.

2. My Mom fought and won her battle with breast cancer. That phone call was so surreal. And seeing her sick was heart breaking. But she is stronger and even more amazing now. And we grew even closer through it all.

3. My family reunited. What can I say? I am just so blessed and grateful. Love Never Fails.

4. Although I don't know the exact day, I know I past the one year mark of being sober from vicoden (etc) and alcohol. I thank God for the strength to finally win that fight.

5. I grew closer to my family. I got to know Megan even better, I spent more time with my Mom and my Dad than I had in years. Although the circumstances were often hard, that was a real blessing. (thank you again Megan for all your help!!)

6. I grew and learned to trust God in all things. There were days when I didn't know where my next meal would come from- and suddenly the answer would be right there. He has never failed me, not once, this year. How could I ever doubt? Even when I wasn't faithful to Him, He was faithful to me.

7. After some therapy and some praying, I have finally discovered that I am good just as I am. And for the first time in my entire life I am comfortable in my own skin and happy to be me.

resolutions

2009-01-02T06:37:00.000-08:00

I'm not a big fan of resolutions. I don't want to make a list of promises I can't keep for myself. But I do have some general ideas of improvements I'd like to make this year.
1. I'd like to journal more. I used to be better about writing each day. Blogging is nice, but of course its not the same. And there is just something so comforting about putting pen to paper.
2. I want to be a better Christian. Not louder or scarier- don't worry. I want to pray more, read more, and be more focused on being the person Jesus would want me to be; kinder, calmer, more giving, more loving.
3. I refuse to diet ever again. I will never give up baked goods again! But, I would like to loose about 20 pounds in the next 6 months. That wouldn't change my appearance too much but it would make me more healthy. My plan is to stop eating after 9pm and to try to be more active. I was thinking if I make a cd of dance music and dance around like a looney every day, that might be good. When it gets warmer, then I'll switch to going for walks.
4. I want to be a better wife and mother. I want to give my all to make their lives better, calmer and happier.

*******
So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34 New American Standard Bible

the journey to solids

2008-12-30T05:42:00.000-08:00

We've put a hold on the solid foods for awhile. Isaiah just loves eating. He enjoys sitting up at the big table with us. He eats every bite with great joy and feet kicking. He doesn't spit the food out or make a mess because he enjoys it so much.
But we've had to pull back a bit a listen to the cues his body is sending us. I knew he didn't need to be eating solids yet, but since he was so into the idea we were letting him lead in this. But twice now after eating baby cereal, he has thrown up big time. Not just spit up, we are more than used to that! But full on barfing up all the milk and cereal in him little belly. Both times were while on my lap, of course. There is just nothing like being covered in your kids barf. (Do you know the story of Aiden barfing in Cafe Luwak? Ohhh my...)
Anyway, so we are putting a halt to the food experimentation for now. He's been good with little mushed bits of potato so I think we'll stick to that for the next month on the nights he really wants to join in for dinner. But mostly, he'll have to just belly up to the milk bar until his stomach gets a little more mature.

Christmas

2008-12-29T19:56:00.000-08:00

This Christmas ended up being one of the biggest times of blessing in my life. I won't get into all the details, but God showed His love to us in amazing ways this year and we had such a joyful day.
We had a busy day. We enjoyed a great morning with just the family, opening presents and eating some yummy breakfast pizza made by Andre. Then we went to my mom and step dad's and had some yummy food and great times with my family. Then we hoped back in the car and headed over to Elizabeth and Dan's house for more good food and family. It was a long day. I can't imagine having done a day like that when the other two kids were babies. Isaiah is such a good natured boy. The day went so well. He just napped on my lap when he got tired and woke up ready for a more fun and smiles. I can't imagine doing a day like that with bottles. I don't know how people do that. It was nice to be able to provide all the comfort he needed while on the road. It kept him happy and ready to jump back into the festivities.
The kidlets had a great Christmas too. They said it was the best Christmas ever. Hearing that made it the best for me. I loved seeing their faces so lit up and happy. I knew they would be thrilled with what Santa was able to bring and that had me so excited I was the first one up in the morning! I was pacing the floor waiting for them to wake up.
It was just a great day and so nice to end this crazy crazy year in such a blessed way.

birth story

2008-12-27T16:19:00.000-08:00

I was reading this on my old myspace blog. I can't believe its been almost 6 months! I thought I'd repost it here... don't really have a reason why. Enjoy.

I woke up Friday morning feeling kinda crampy, I thought there was a chance that it could be the day. I got up and had a few contractions, but nothing to really pay attention to. I went out with the kids and got some last minute things done. Then we had an appointment at the hospital to get checked out, just normal post due appointment. The midwife checked me there and found me to be about 2 cms. She swept my membranes a little, she couldn't get in to do much. But after that I was having even more contractions.

Andre and I made plans to go to the Celtic Fest that night. He needed to pass off his Mr. Pretty Legs crown. The kids were all set to go to grandma and grandpas house. I was contracting a lot by the time Andre got home but I was afraid to cancel our plans and then have labor fizzle out. All that false labor made me paranoid! So we went to the Celtic Fest and had a pretty good time even though I was contracting like crazy. We met some friends there and it was great to see them and share the excitement. The announcer said something about me being in labor so people were stopping us to ask if that was really true. It was pretty funny.

We walked around the fest for quite awhile and then went right to the hospital. I didn't think I was ready to be admitted yet, but I wanted to make sure Isaiah was okay, he wasn't moving much, and just to check where I was. In triage she said I was 3+cm and said I could stay there and walk for two hours and get checked again before I went home. We thought that was a good idea, I knew I wasn't going to be able to rest. The first hour of walking was intense, but I could handle it with Andre's help. But then it got much harder. Andre was so great supporting me, I was crying and really having a hard time. I already felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin and escape. But he calmed me down and led me back to triage and we talked with the midwife again. She said she could admit me based on my history of long back labors. They'd get the epidural hooked up soon and maybe I could get some rest. So we got in, called the Megans(my sister and the doula), and soon I had my epidural. I was hoping my back wouldn't hurt this time, but it felt just like the other two. So after I was all hooked up, the midwife checked me and found me to be 8 cms and totally effaced! Wow!! This will go down in history as one of the best moments of my life. I'd never dilated like that before. I really can't describe how exciting this was for me!

So the midwife said to get a little rest since I had a brand new epidural going. She said to just let them know if I felt any pressure or the urge to push. We rested and I dialed the rest of the way, so by 8 the next morning we started to work on pushing. It was exciting to get to feel that urge. With Aiden they told me when to push. Pushing felt great and I was so excited to be there. My back was hurting again, and that was frustrating but pushing helped focus my mind off it. So I pushed for 2 or 2 ½ hours in all sorts of positions. But nothing would get his head to move. The midwife was trying everything she could think of. She even called in a doc with an ultrasound to see just how his head was positioned so we could brainstorm more positions. I pushed for another hour after that but he still hadn't moved even the littlest bit. And my back labor was getting more and more intense. They gave me another full dose with the epidural and it wasn't even touching the back pain.

Then things got very familiar. It felt just like when Solstice was born. The hinting around about a c-section. The worried looks. She kept telling me to rest more and not get all tired out. And with the back pain escalating, I agreed to a c-section. I was devastated. But some how I'd known this was how this baby wanted out. I tried to put on a brave face, but the tears kept coming anyway.

They got me back in the O.R. pretty quickly. They were having a hard time getting me numb enough. There was a spot by my belly button that just wouldn't go numb. So they mega-dosed my epidural and now I still have spots that are asleep. While I was laying there on the table waiting, I noticed a familiar face. I knew my old friend Shadia worked in labor and delivery, and had been keeping an eye out for her, but didn't except to find her there in the O.R. It was a fun reunion and got my mind off being so afraid. And knowing she'd be there looking over things was so calming.

Soon they were ready to go and they called Andre in. I was doing pretty good at this point. Scared, but excited to finally see this boy. It was slow going since they have to be careful about all the old scar tissue. But soon they were lowering the curtain so I could see Isaiah Jack Henry come into the world. He was good and healthy looking right from the start and making lots of clear cries so I could breathe easier. His apgars were 8 and 9. He weighed 9'4 at birth. They had him swaddled up and in Andre's arms pretty quickly. I wanted to be able to hold him, but I got the shakes really bad at this point. I couldn't control my arms. I was trying to hold onto the arm rests to keep my arms still. My jaw was shaking so hard I kept biting my tongue. I wasn't feeling well at all and started to go in and out of sleep. I could hear them as they were stitching me back together, talking about blood loss and knicks here and there. I could feel it all, but without any pain. I could feel them suctioning blood and moving organs. It's a very strange feeling. Then they were finally done and we got to go to recovery.

I slowly started to feel a bit more human in recovery and got to finally hold this sweet boy of mine. The nurse I had was so awesome. She got Isaiah and I both stripped down so we could be skin to skin as he nursed for the first time. He was such a pro! I never even had to show him what to do. He's had perfect latch every time. It was beyond love at first sight. I'd had weird periods while pregnant where I would forget that I'd really have another kid after it was all said and done. So here it all really hit me and it was so comforting to know this little man was here to stay. Andre went out to gather up the family and let them come visit. Megan came in soon and my mom and step dad. Then my dad came in. Everyone was so excited and it made me feel so good to have their support. We were in recovery for a few hours and then went up to the smallest hospital room I'd ever seen! But it was cozy and at least a single (they were really crowded).

Being in the hospital wasn't too bad. I had a very psycho nurses. Seems like the night nurses are the weirdos. But people were very nice. I was able to move around pretty well. I think better than with Solstice. One thing I hated was the medicine they put in my epidural before they took it out. It did help with pain but it made me terribly itchy! I couldn't even sleep because I couldn't stop itching! And the really bad part was that it was long lasting medicine so it was that way for like 18 hours. I got out of bed pretty soon and took a shower. That helped me feel more human again. We got visits from friends and family. That was great too. It was so fun to see Solstice and Aiden met Isaiah! They are so sweet to him. Andre and I got a pretty good system down of taking turns with sleep. So I got lots of time to rest and heal. They are so good together, Isaiah would just hang out with him and then let him know when he needed to come back to me and eat.

And now we've been home for a few days and things are going pretty smooth. I've been making myself stay in bed most of the time and rest. My ankles have been swollen to outrageous sizes! And it is still complete agony to get out of bed. I feel like I was just sliced in half, pretty close anyway. But overall I think we've done pretty well.

Isaiah is such a good baby. He is the best breastfeeder ever. He's pretty calm most of the time. He sleeps great at night. I haven't felt over-tired at all. He is very alert and likes to look at everyone. He knows all our voices and gets excited when someone walks into the room and talks. We had the typical issue with a c-section, my milk didn't come in as fast as normal so he lost a little more weight then I'd like. But the visiting nurse I had was awesome and said at that point she should suggest formula, but she's also a lactation consultant and just encouraged me to just keep up what I'd been doing and my milk would come in soon and everything would be fine. It came in later that night and Isaiah had gained a few ounces already when we saw the pediatrician the next day. He's a perfectly healthy baby.

winter solstice

2008-12-21T11:50:00.000-08:00

10 years ago on the winter solstice I spent hours and hours in the emergancy room at UofM hospital. I was just about 4 weeks pregnant after having just had a miscarriage in October. I had started bleeding and was absolutly terrified that I was losing another baby. Andre and I went to the er to get things checked out. I just had to know one way or another. I wasn't sure I could face another heartbreaking miscarriage but I knew if it was going to happen, I needed to know sooner than later.
I don't remember a whole lot of that evening in the hospital. I only remember the face of the man that did my blood work and that we waited for ever. Finally, after it was late and the dark of the night had sunk in, a very smiley doctor came in to talk to us. He said it was still early and anything could still happen, but for now- the baby was fine, its little heart was beating and the bleeding was still just an after affect of the previous miscarriage and would stop soon. He said to just try and relax and enjoy this baby because at that moment, he or she was fine.
I remember drivng home and looking at the lights out the window and thinking that I wanted to mark the day. I'd been so incredibly depressed after the miscarriage and finally felt happy and hopeful again that evening. I thought it was so fitting that this change in my heart happened on the winter solstice as the dark was about to be replaced by light. And so Andre and I thought it would be a fitting name for our baby on the way.
And so my Solstitce was named.

I hope to never forget...

2008-12-20T15:38:00.001-08:00

You start like a little beast,
grunting, snorting, searching for your milk.
Impatient, acting half starved,
like a little piglet sniffing the ground.
When you latch the milk isn't instant
and so you throw your arms around,
kick you legs, turn your head side to side.
You pop off the nipple, then back on, off and on until
I hear you start to gulp.
One more kick, but not as hard.
You pull off from the breast one more time and
look up at me and smile.
Then back to work.
Gulping, one hand on each side,
kneading and massaging so the milk comes faster.
You lay limp in my lap, happily nursing.
Your eyes get a little sleepy and I
watch as they roll back in your head.
The gulping slows and your latch slips,
letting a trail of milk run down your chin.
You feel the sleep coming and try to fight it-
legs kick, arms out and with eyes closed now
your head turns side to side.
One last latch on, just to make sure its still there
and rest overcomes you.
If I stay very still, this is when I get to watch
the moment when eating becomes sleeping.

Do you know what happens when you start to feed a baby solid food?

2008-12-16T06:15:00.000-08:00

Ah, yes... they poop more. And their poop suddenly gets stinky.

Isaiah is most certainly into food and there is no turning back. He was yelling at Andre yesterday when Andre was not sharing his ice cream (it was a bowl and a spoon, looks like food to Isaiah!). He loves dinner time and wolfs down more food than I've ever fed a 5 month old baby.

So, he's pooping like a champ now. It hit me yesterday as I heard him poop and poop and poop. Ohhhh, right, I remember this! (I have these moments a lot- 7 years is a long time to go in between kidlets). With the other two, they were in disposables at this age and it was such a mess! I remember especially with Solstice when we heard her starting, we'd quickly strip off all her clothes because the poo never stayed in the diaper.

It makes me so glad that we are using cloth right from the start with Isaiah and that I figured out the best diapering method. When he was first born, I used the really fancy "pocket" style diapers. They are great and easy, don't get me wrong- but they just were not right for his body shape and they take so long in the dryer. So I switched to the old fashioned style- rectangle shaped flat diapers with a snappi (I love this thing! but will switch to pins when this one breaks. It was a gift and a great invention but not something I'd buy myself) and Gerber vinyl plastic pants. This is the system my parents used and it still works great today. The plastic pants hold everything in- Isaiah has on a few occasions slept from 8pm to 8am (he nursed of course, but never really woke up) and those pants held every drop in! Thats really amazing. The only time they leak is if I didn't get all the cloth tucked into the pants. Also, using this style means less time in the wash and the dryer. And thats a great thing for me, our budget, and the environment.

Not exactly world shaking news, but its a big part of my life right now!

the experimentation with food continues...

2008-12-14T17:16:00.000-08:00

Isaiah has been getting more and more interested with food. I've been making something he can eat every night for dinner. He likes sitting up in his highchair so he can see all of us around the table. And I think he is really enjoying being "big" like us and eating too.

Today he ate way more cereal than I would have guessed he could. I made more than I planned and he just kept eating. And he used a spoon too. Usually he just eats little bits off my finger.

I'm not really ready for him to grow up so fast! But as long as he continues to nurse as much as he is now, then we will continue to experiment.

I would never really complain, but...

2008-12-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

There is nothing that would ever make me consider not breastfeeding Isaiah, but the two big challenges have both hit within the last week. I had mastitis all last week and although most of what I read said it's unlikely to get it in both sides, I did. Mastitis is an infection in the milk ducts. It's kind of like your breasts getting the flu. My whole body ached, my head throbbed and it felt like there were hot pokers shooting through my breasts all day every day. The only real way to heal it is to nurse more often, which is painful. The hardest part of mastitis is that I didn't look sick, so it was hard to get enough rest. I'm sure it would have cleared up sooner if I'd been able to rest more. Speaking of rest, the other hard part of breastfeeding this week has been lack of sleep. Isaiah is having a huge huge growth spurt. He looks bigger every morning when I look at him. But, he's wanting to nurse all night long. So I'm not getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time each night. Luckily we co-sleep so I don't have to get up and do much when he wakes me up. But even just laying there with him and talking to him while he settles back down and gets ready to eat himself to sleep is enough to make me feel like I'm exhausted. There is something about not getting solid hours of sleep all in a row that really takes a toll on the body. I'm so glad that I do sleep next to him. I'm sure people would tell me that if he was crib-trained and blah blah blah maybe he'd sleep more. But I know that this is the best option for everyone. I have no doubt abou that. This too shall pass and I'll get back to sleeping happily through the night.

moocher

2008-11-26T06:27:00.000-08:00

I know Isaiah doesn't need to be eating any solids yet. He's obviously growing well and has everything he needs to thrive. But he's become quite the moocher. So I talked to the doc about it, and she suggested givig him food to play with while we're all at the table so he can be part of the social experience of dinner.

So yesterday he sat in his highchair for the first time and I gave him a very big, very clean, organic carrot to play with. It was pretty funny! He was making the funniest faces! I could just see it on his face that he felt like a very big boy.

I really do have a superpower

2008-11-25T11:01:00.000-08:00

Isaiah had a check-up yesterday and I was just shocked to see how much he's grown. He's almost twice what he weighed at birth! And he's grown 3 inches since his last appointment. And I am again astonished and not a bit humbled that I am able to make the food that helps my baby to thrive.

It's not like I'm new to breastfeeding. And it's not like I didn't know I was feeding him. But still, hearing those numbers just made me think how amazing it is that with no real effort on my part, I can just make the food that he lives and grows on. Wow.

I love when he's really chugging and I can hear him, "gulp gulp gulp". It's so easy to forget that my body is really doing that. I love how well our bodies were designed.

pumped up on breastmilk!

2008-11-19T07:01:00.000-08:00

snow

2008-11-17T06:31:00.000-08:00

The weather right now is bringing back vivid memories of this time last year. It was later in the year when the first snow really stuck. But the cold air and the grey are reminding me of those first months of my pregnancy.
It was such a hard time emotionally, and going through all that with the non-stop "morning" sickness was completely draining. My tummy has been doing flip-flops at the memories its been stirring up.
I remember one day inparticular from one of the first snows last year, I had to make that long drive and I was eating french fries and a chocolate shake hoping that would keep me from being sick while driving. It didn't of course. I was sick on the side of the road, in the dark, alone and in the snow.
I don't know what it would be called, some kind of physical memory. I had this with the other two also. The weather will cause my body to recall the feelings of early pregnancy the year after it happened. It's strong enough to almost feel like I'm really going to be sick.
Such a funny thing.
This weather also reminds me of when I was first pregnant with Solstice. We were so scared and I felt so sick. I remember driving to Andre's parents in weather like this and feeling just terrible. I was drinking a coke in hopes it would calm my stomach. I don't think I'll ever forget that.
The year is now marked with these seasonal memories of my children.

sunday meme on monday

2008-11-17T06:14:00.000-08:00

Sunday Stealing Meme from Holly

1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing?
no, not at all

2. Favorite late night snack?
ice cream

3. Do you own a gun?
Nope

4. What’s your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shop?
vanilla cap

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
very, to the point of feeling sick

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I'll eat veggie-dogs sometimes. Not my fave food.

7. Favorite Christmas song?
Anything by Kenny and Dolly

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Coffee

9. Can you do push-ups?
no way, that would bring on a monster of a headache

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
My wedding ring and my grandma's necklace

11. Favorite hobby?
reading, knitting

12. Do you have A.D.D.?
nope

13. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself?
I'm afraid of many, many things

14. The last disease you contracted?
...next...

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
Is the washer dying? I hope Iz takes a good nap. I need an empty shoebox.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Coffee, Water, tea

17. Current worry right now?
money, but I'm going to try and not worry.

18. Current hate right now?
headaches

19. Favorite place to be?
in the nest

20. How did you ring in the New Year?
with a kiss

21. Like to travel?
yes, as long as its not too stressful

22. Name three people who will complete Sunday Stealing this week:
I don't know

23. Do you own slippers?
yes

24. What color shirt are you wearing?
white

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
No I hate them, too slidey

26. Can you whistle?
yes

27. Favorite singer/band?
Of all time? Grateful Dead
Right now? Casting Crowns or MercyMe

28. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor?
NO WAY! I wouldn't last the day

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
something from church

30. Favorite girl’s names?
Carolyn Grace

31. Favorite boy’s name?
I don't know, I just used my last fave boy name. I'd have to think on a new one.

32. What’s in your pocket right now?
Nadda, no pockets

33. Last thing that made you laugh?
hmm... not sure... I'm guessing it was one of the kids

34. Like your job?
Absolutly! Being home with my kids, taking care of my man and my house is what I was made for!

36. Do you love where you live?
It is not where I would pick at all if I had a choice in it, but I make do and appreciate the good parts.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house?
3 but only 2 are actually hooked to the cable.

38. Who is your loudest friend?
I dunno...

39. Do you drive the speed limit or speed?
always the speed limit, I've never been pulled over

40. Does someone have a crush on you?
No

41. What is your favorite book?
Outlander by Diana Gabladon

42. What is your favorite candy?
dark chocolate or necco wafers

43. Favorite Sports Team?
Tigers

44. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
sleeeeeeeeeeping

45. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today?
where is the snooze button....

favorite things

2008-11-03T06:52:00.000-08:00

isaiah's laugh
second cups of coffee
crisp air
the sound of knitting needles clicking together
a book so good you miss the characters like old friends
my moms hands
watching solstice when she is lost in her own world
baking smells
singing with my parents at church
aiden's sweaty head
being healthy
knowing andre's stories like my own
clean kitchens
siblings
christmas lights
daisies
when isaiahs breath smells like yougurt

Chronic pain and a new baby.

2008-10-29T09:52:00.000-07:00

About 4 years ago I was injured in a car accident. After years of therapy (physical therapy, chiropractors, alternative medicine, homeopathy, etc etc etc) I am still stuck with pretty intense headaches daily. For quite awhile I was over-medicating myself pretty heavily with pain medications. After that distroyed the rest of my world I realized they were not really helping the pain and I cleaned up my act.
I had about a year without the heachaces. I have no "worldly" explaination for this, the doctors could not tell me why I was feeling better because the injury had stayed the same. But this time off of the heachaches helped me get my act together and quit taking the pain medications altogether.
Soon after I stopped the pills, I found myself pregnant. I won't get into the details of how and why this was so shocking, but it was certainly not my plan. But I was overjoyed and just plain thrilled to be pregnant again but very worried about how this would affect my headaches.
I was surprised to go through the entire pregnancy without having them return. I thought for sure the stress of a big pregnant belly would bring them back. In the end, it was the stress of labor that brought them back.
So I have been living now for almost four months with a new baby and agonizingly bad headaches. When I was dealing with this pain before, it brought on great depression. It is very easy to get lost in thoughts of how I would ever survive a lifetime of this pain. That severe depression before led to a lot of bad choices while trying to find anything that might make me feel better, even for a short time. I spent (or wasted) so much time back then locked away in my room in the dark, stoned out of my head on pain pills and just wishing my life away. It was a dark place to be.
How do I stay out of that dark place this time? Especially without being able to get any therapy this time around and while having a little person in my life who takes all my energy and does not let me rest much?
Isaiah is at the same time the cause (lifting him etc) of the pain and the relief. His smiles light up the whole house. Solstice and Aiden shower me with so much compassion it is overwhelming to me sometimes. They are such sweet and kind children. And Andre has been so patient and caring. I know how scary it must have been for him to see me going through this again.
But this time around, I think I am doing much better. First, I don't disappear into the haze of pain killers. I don't run away from everyone. Sure, sometimes I have to get a break from the light and noise of life- but I don't hide anymore. So secondly, I am not trying to do this alone anymore. I am reaching out to my family and asking them to go through this with me and not just watch me go through it. But for me, the biggest way that I am not doing this alone anymore is that this time I have God with me. I know He gave me that year off to get myself back in order. I got sober, I got back with my family, I got my priorities right again finally. Why couldn't He have given me the freedom of pain forever? I don't know, but I'm certain there is a reason and in His time, I will know why.(Romans 8:28) But He has not left my side, not for a minute. And that has made all the differnce, you see, before I would get so lost in those thoughts about surviving the rest of my life like this. But now I know God gives me the strength to get through this one day like this,(Phil 4:13) and then tomorrow He'll do it again. So I just have to figure out how to do today. And with His help, that is something I can do. And now I can be a better mom to Isaiah and to Solstice and Aiden even with the chronic pain, because I have God now with me.

In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand

breastfeeding and breast cancer

2008-10-22T07:28:00.000-07:00

I've always known that breastfeeding can greatly decrease your risk of breast cancer but I never really knew why. I was reading the Motherwear Catalog Blog today and found this information very interesting:

There are several hypotheses about why breastfeeding provides protection against breast cancer but at this time we do not know which is/are correct. The simplest explanation is that for many women the longer they breastfeed the fewer menstrual cycles they experience. Since with every menstrual cycle cells in the breast grow and divide and could by chance accumulate mutations which might lead to cancer, reducing the total number of cycles a woman experiences in her lifetime should lead to a decreased risk of breast cancer. This is supported by data showing that younger age at time of first menstruation and older age at menopause (greater total number of years menstruating) is associated with an increased risk of breast cancer. Another hypothesis is that breastfeeding results in a permanent change in either breast morphology or the expression of genes in the breast, and that this change provides protection against breast cancer. Finally it has been suggested that breastfeeding reduces the level of pollutants in the breast that may be associated

I also read that not only does it decrease your chances by 28%, but to have a baby and not breastfeed increases your rates by 39%!

Just some food for thought.

Blessed are the cheesemakers

2008-10-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

yep, still the spit-up cheesemaker

Isaiah had his other two newborn shots today. So far he's not too grumpy. A little sore, a little warm. So he's nursing non-stop which is fine with me. Anything is better than last time he had shots.

what Isaiah wants for Christmas

2008-10-06T13:03:00.000-07:00

Discover Ball w/ Clacker by Haba

Prorap diaper covers in large. He needs 6 or more.
(these can both be found at treecitydiapers.com)

Owls are his favorite animals. These are from oldnavy.com. He'll be in a 12month size by Christmas.

Owl babies by Martin Waddell

He knows it's early but thought you might want to know his list. :)

which side??

2008-10-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

I just can't keep track of which side I fed Isaiah on last. I keep remembering wrong. And I keep forgetting to do all the tricks to remember!! I need to come up with a system. Any ideas?

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

2008-10-01T06:59:00.000-07:00

I'm sure anyone who'd be reading this knows that my Mom has been fighting breast cancer and that my family has been doing everything we can to raise money for research and spread awareness. I found a new way to help this morning. I was watching the Today show and saw Dr. Susan Love talking about her new mission to have a million women signed up to be research volunteers. They will contact me when there is a doctor looking for women in my area to donate blood or tissue. If I meet the qualifications for that study, I go in and they get what they need. The idea is to find the cause of breast cancer so that someday women won't have to live in fear of this terrible cancer.
I strongly urge every woman reading this to sign up. Dr. Love said tha main reason research isn't done is that they assume no one will volunteer tissues and blood for the research. Let's take this excuse away so a cure and prevention can be found.
Please join the Army of Women.

being at home

2008-09-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

I'd like to start by saying how lucky I am to be able to stay at home. I'm so lucky that Andre loves me enough to make this decision with me. I'm so glad that we've decided to have me stay home and take care of the kids and the house instead of rushing back into the work force. It's a challenge sometimes, but Andre is working his tail off and I thank God for him every single day.
So having said that, I've been having a hard time with being home with only Isaiah to talk to all day. It was easier during the summer when the kids were home too. But now, after they have all gone off for the day, the house gets very very quiet.
The benefit of that is when Isaiah falls asleep, there are not crazy loud kids running around waking him up. He takes nice long naps now that they are in school. And I get a lot done around the house during these naps. But then the house is even quieter.
I try to keep the tv on sometimes just for the noise, but ultimately it just drives me even more crazy. I've been addicted to pandora.com for non-stop music for whatever mood I'm in that day. Thats great. But it's not conversation.
I try walking around town, at least that gets me some adult contact. But the casual talk of groceries being rung up isn't quite what I'm looking for.
I spend way to much time on things like facebook, getting little snipets of conversation, even if it is typed. And sometimes that helps.
The best days of the week are tuesdays and thursdays. Tuesday I go to a women's Bible study with my mom. The women in our group are fantastic. Those are great days. And Thursdays I get to hang out with Andre in the morning. Those are great days too. I wanted to join a MOPS group or a LLL group, but the meetings are all so far away and I can't justify the gas it would take to get there each week.
Of course, I wouldn't trade my life or my role for anything in the world. And soon enough Isaiah will be following me around all day talking nonstop and I'll wish it were these days again.

The day breastfeeding wasn't enough to comfort Isaiah and the heartbreak it caused.

2008-09-17T11:07:00.001-07:00

Okay, that's a bit dramatic.

Monday I took the kids in for check-ups. Isaiah had his first shots. I suppose he had his Vit. K at birth, but as I was half dead from the c-section still, I don't remember that. I don't do Hep B shots so this were his first vaccines. I hate the whole vaccine issue. I'm not brave enough to say no completely so my compromise has always been to get them all but Hep B and chicken pox but to space them out farther. So, Isaiah got his first two shots.

He was fine at first. He screamed at first of course but calmed down quickly after. He nursed for a few minutes and then fell asleep. He stayed pretty sleepy until after dinner time. Then the screaming started. I've never really heard Isaiah scream and cry before. He's not a big cry-er. He just kinda lets us know he's unhappy usually. But this time, he was screaming. The hardest part for me was that he did not want to breastfed at all. He seemed to be calmed a tiny bit by the skin to skin contact and having the boob right there, but he wouldn't stop screaming long enough to actually eat. He'd finally scream himself out and start to almost fall asleep, but then he'd stretch out his legs (like he does when he's sleepy) and then that would make him scream and scream again.

I tried everything I could think of. I tried to walk with him but it was too hard to hold him comfortably without hurting his sore legs. I tried a warm bath (which he usually loves) but not this time. So after a few hours of this, Andre called to get the correct dosage for tylenol and we gave him some. That seemed to finally help, and he started to slow down a little. I laid down to nurse him so his legs were free and we both finally collapsed.

Oh ugg. What a night. I'm not used to breastfeeding not being the cure-all. It can come in handy sometimes, he goes to sleep easier than the older kiddos ever did. But with them, all I had to ever do was whip out the boob and they'd stop crying (this does not include Aiden's colic phase... ).

The new stats that we learned at the doctor, by the way, are 14 pounds and 24 inches. Gotta love chubby chubby breastfed babies.

The doc was telling me that most breastfed babies respond better to vaccines that formula fed babies. I found that so interesting. I've never heard this benefit before. I found a good site that explaned this further. It basically says that since the baby is getting so many immune factors from the breast milk already, that it's body is able to respond to the vaccine even better and that they will have a longer lasting immunity. How cool is that?

Now, two days later, he still has the shot bumps on his legs but is otherwise back to his chillbilly self.

Spit Happens

2008-09-11T06:19:00.000-07:00

Solstice and Aiden never spit up much so Isaiah is providing a whole new experience for us. I don't know how one little baby can provide so much spit up. Sometimes it seems like everything he just ate comes back up. The kids came up with calling it "cheesing", as in,"Isaiah cheesed me! Get me a spit-up rag!!" So far the only real issue is the crazy amount of laundry it makes! At least with it being breastmilk spit up, it doesn't stain at all.

from babycenter.com:
Why does my baby spit up so much?
He's probably just getting the hang of feeding. And he's not alone: About 40 percent of young babies spit up regularly. The peak age for spitting up is 4 months.When your baby takes in air along with his breast milk the air gets trapped in with the liquid. The air has to come up, and when it does, so does some of the liquid.Babies take in a lot of nourishment in relation to their size, and some of them really like to eat, so sometimes they become overfilled and, well, overflow.A newborn's digestive system isn't fully developed, either. The muscles at the bottom of your baby's esophagus, which control whether food is coming or going, may still be getting up to speed.

His other issue with spit is being super drooly. He soaks the whole front of his shirts. It gets even worse when he's hungery. When I'm getting him in position to eat and he knows its coming, he starts spitting like wild. It cracks me up. I guess his mouth is just watering!

bathroom nursing

2008-09-08T19:02:00.000-07:00

I went to visit my friend Christy's church on sunday. Her and her husband run a church in Livonia. They were having a kids day on sunday with a puppet show and an ice cream social so the kids and I skipped NorthRidge and headed out there.

Their church is a little more old fashioned feeling... maybe it's just me... but I just wasn't sure how people there would feel about me feeding Isaiah in the middle of the service. Luckily he was more than happy to look at the puppets and the light show and not worry about eating his was through the service. So after, while the big kids were scarfing down ice cream, I did the walk of shame to the bathroom and sat in there, smelling the nasty "air freshener", and nursed my baby.

I did get a chance to talk to a pre-teen girl about breastfeeding while in there. She commented that my shirt was cool, and I said I liked it because it made feeding Isaiah easier. And then I got a chance to talk about how awesome breastfeeding it. Maybe it will stick with her.

goodbye pool

2008-08-27T11:46:00.000-07:00

I took the kids to the pool yesterday for one last swim. I wish we could have spent more time there this summer. The kids are oddly pale for this point in the summer. We did have some fun times there this summer though and saying good bye is the first sign of fall.

This was the first time I took Isaiah there by myself. We got a nice shady spot and the weather was perfect so he was pretty happy to be there. It was kinda funny to breastfeed there with all these pre-teen boys running around. But no one seemed to notice, or I couldn't see them blush through all the sunshine. Either way, it was uneventful (besides the spit up in my hair... but thats normal for these days) and a nice day to say good bye and store up the good memories until next summer.

Church breastfeeding

2008-08-21T08:40:00.000-07:00

Breastfeeding at church has been very uneventful so far. I didn't really expect any "hubub", my church is way too liberal and progressive for that. But still, there is just the fact that my boob is out in church, while praying and singing, etc. And I think the only one with the hang up about it has been me. This surprises me because I've been one to whip it out whenever and wherever.
So I had to do a little soul searching on this one. And what hit me was the fact that God designed my body to do this, and He designed Isaiah to need to breastfeed. And of course, everyone ever in the Bible, including Jesus himself, was breastfed. So why should I be worried about doing this in God's house?
And after I thought about things that way, I lost my worries about it. And last week I sat next to my Dad at church with boob proudly out and nursing my sweet son through the first half of service (and after that he burped as loud as humanly possible and had everyone within a few rows cracking up!).

The Breast Crawl

2008-08-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

This is just beautiful.

Nursin'

2008-08-17T14:53:00.000-07:00

I love it.

I love breastfeeding!

2008-08-12T15:09:00.000-07:00

I'm wearing a skirt today that didn't even fit before I got pregnant! It's been a long time since it fit! I love breastfeeding!!! I haven't even started exercising yet. I can't exercise until after my 6 week appointment and then hopefully. I hope the pounds roll off even easier then. That's what happened when I was breastfeeding Aiden. It's the best diet around!

Why I breastfed my babies

2008-08-09T17:13:00.000-07:00

I read recently that the percentage of breastfeeding moms is on the rise lately. It makes me wonder what all those women who don't breastfeed are thinking. I understand health reasons if a mom is unable and moms who are forced to go right back to work and are gone for most of the day, (Although if you are that poor, it seems the financial benefits of breastfeeding would be good for them. Pumps are available for free or dirt cheap from most social service offices). I spent way too much time in the last few months watching A Baby Story and shows like that and saw so many moms get talked into quitting by a selfish husband or an uptight grandma. Things like that make me wanna scream.
But rather than scream, I just thought I'd write why I do choose to breastfeed my babies.
1. Breast milk is free. And it is always available. I cannot see paying for something that my body makes for free. Maybe I'm just too frugal. Or cheap. But I could never justify the cost of formula when I can make it and cost us absolutely nothing.
2. It is always the perfect food for the baby. It is always the perfect temperature. It is always the perfect nutrition. A mother's milk has just the right amount of fat, sugar, water, and protein that is needed for a baby's growth and development.
3. It helps me lose weight faster. Breastfeeding burns 500 to 1000 calories a day. And when you're a woman like me, that's an awesome benefit.
4. Breastfed babies tend to score higher on IQ tests and be more well rounded in their education. How could I not do something with that long term of a benefit for my kids?
5. Breastfeeding lowers the risk of breast and ovarian cancers, and possibly the risk of hip fractures and osteoporosis after menopause. This was always an important factor for me, but after watching my Mom's struggle with breast cancer this year, it's become even more important to me.
6. Breastfeeding saves on health care costs. Total medical care costs for the nation are lower for fully breastfed infants than never-breastfed infants since breastfed infants typically need fewer sick care visits, prescriptions, and hospitalizations. I'm always shocked to hear how often other kids go to the doctors, my kids might go once in two or three years.
7. Breastfeeding is better for the environment. There are no empty formula cans to throw away, no old bottles to toss out and no energy use in heating the milk.
8. Breastfeeding forces me to take some down time every few hours. I sit on the couch with my baby at the breast and have time to nap or read. This is a sanity-saver, especially in these first few weeks.
9. I personally like the "tradition" of breastfeeding and knowing that I'm sharing in an "art" that women have been doing for all of time.
10. I love knowing that at any moment I have the perfect solution to any problem Isaiah might be having. I can help him when he's hungry, help him go to sleep, help him feel warmer, provide a safe place, hold him close, bond with him, make him stop crying, help him relax, help him feel secure. I can immediately be his source of comfort any time of day.
And also- when you exclusively breastfeed, no periods!!
Here are a few more statistics about the benefits to the baby:
-Breast milk has agents (called antibodies) in it to help protect infants from bacteria and viruses. Recent studies show that babies who are not exclusively breastfed for 6 months are more likely to develop a wide range of infectious diseases including ear infections, diarrhea, respiratory illnesses and have more hospitalizations. Also, infants who are not breastfed have a 21% higher postneonatal infant mortality rate in the U.S.
-Some studies suggest that infants who are not breastfed have higher rates of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) in the first year of life, and higher rates of type 1 and type 2 diabetes, lymphoma, leukemia, Hodgkin's disease, overweight and obesity, high cholesterol and asthma. More research in these areas is needed (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2005).

Introductions

2008-08-08T09:32:00.000-07:00

My son, Isaiah, was born almost a month ago and has been breastfeeding non-stop ever since. Yesterday while nursing at the Kelly Miller Circus, I thought it would be interesting to keep a journal about my experience with breastfeeding. I've breastfed two children before and nursed in all sorts of crazy places and had many different reactions. So this time around, I'd like to write it all down and document the experience.

So far, I've breastfed Isaiah in a few public places. I have a few nursing shirts but keep forgetting to actually wear them when I'm going out in public! We've nursed at the coffee shop last Friday while seeing a friend's performance. Last Saturday we were at the Highland Festival and did some in-the-sling nursing. I forgot to wear a nursing shirt for that day, so I had to nurse with my belly exposed. Not my favorite thing to do, but I'd never say no to a hungry baby! And then yesterday we breastfed while at the Circus. And again I forgot to wear a nursing shirt! Ugg!

Last night at the Circus I was thinking while nursing that our society doesn't make a lot of basic functions very easy for people. It's no wonder women get so uptight about public nursing. There were perfect chairs in the "private seat" section but I couldn't use one even though it would have made breastfeeding so much easier. I have to think back before formula that women would have been provided with a chair at least. I don't really require privacy, I'm proud to nurse my baby anytime, but I also don't need the world staring at me. A chair pulled back behind the bleachers would have been a perfect place to nurse- I could have still watched the Circus and had a happy baby.