winter solstice

10 years ago on the winter solstice I spent hours and hours in the emergancy room at UofM hospital. I was just about 4 weeks pregnant after having just had a miscarriage in October. I had started bleeding and was absolutly terrified that I was losing another baby. Andre and I went to the er to get things checked out. I just had to know one way or another. I wasn't sure I could face another heartbreaking miscarriage but I knew if it was going to happen, I needed to know sooner than later.
I don't remember a whole lot of that evening in the hospital. I only remember the face of the man that did my blood work and that we waited for ever. Finally, after it was late and the dark of the night had sunk in, a very smiley doctor came in to talk to us. He said it was still early and anything could still happen, but for now- the baby was fine, its little heart was beating and the bleeding was still just an after affect of the previous miscarriage and would stop soon. He said to just try and relax and enjoy this baby because at that moment, he or she was fine.
I remember drivng home and looking at the lights out the window and thinking that I wanted to mark the day. I'd been so incredibly depressed after the miscarriage and finally felt happy and hopeful again that evening. I thought it was so fitting that this change in my heart happened on the winter solstice as the dark was about to be replaced by light. And so Andre and I thought it would be a fitting name for our baby on the way.
And so my Solstitce was named.