the journey to solids

We've put a hold on the solid foods for awhile. Isaiah just loves eating. He enjoys sitting up at the big table with us. He eats every bite with great joy and feet kicking. He doesn't spit the food out or make a mess because he enjoys it so much.
But we've had to pull back a bit a listen to the cues his body is sending us. I knew he didn't need to be eating solids yet, but since he was so into the idea we were letting him lead in this. But twice now after eating baby cereal, he has thrown up big time. Not just spit up, we are more than used to that! But full on barfing up all the milk and cereal in him little belly. Both times were while on my lap, of course. There is just nothing like being covered in your kids barf. (Do you know the story of Aiden barfing in Cafe Luwak? Ohhh my...)
Anyway, so we are putting a halt to the food experimentation for now. He's been good with little mushed bits of potato so I think we'll stick to that for the next month on the nights he really wants to join in for dinner. But mostly, he'll have to just belly up to the milk bar until his stomach gets a little more mature.

Christmas

This Christmas ended up being one of the biggest times of blessing in my life. I won't get into all the details, but God showed His love to us in amazing ways this year and we had such a joyful day.
We had a busy day. We enjoyed a great morning with just the family, opening presents and eating some yummy breakfast pizza made by Andre. Then we went to my mom and step dad's and had some yummy food and great times with my family. Then we hoped back in the car and headed over to Elizabeth and Dan's house for more good food and family. It was a long day. I can't imagine having done a day like that when the other two kids were babies. Isaiah is such a good natured boy. The day went so well. He just napped on my lap when he got tired and woke up ready for a more fun and smiles. I can't imagine doing a day like that with bottles. I don't know how people do that. It was nice to be able to provide all the comfort he needed while on the road. It kept him happy and ready to jump back into the festivities.
The kidlets had a great Christmas too. They said it was the best Christmas ever. Hearing that made it the best for me. I loved seeing their faces so lit up and happy. I knew they would be thrilled with what Santa was able to bring and that had me so excited I was the first one up in the morning! I was pacing the floor waiting for them to wake up.
It was just a great day and so nice to end this crazy crazy year in such a blessed way.

birth story

I was reading this on my old myspace blog. I can't believe its been almost 6 months! I thought I'd repost it here... don't really have a reason why. Enjoy.




I woke up Friday morning feeling kinda crampy, I thought there was a chance that it could be the day. I got up and had a few contractions, but nothing to really pay attention to. I went out with the kids and got some last minute things done. Then we had an appointment at the hospital to get checked out, just normal post due appointment. The midwife checked me there and found me to be about 2 cms. She swept my membranes a little, she couldn't get in to do much. But after that I was having even more contractions.

Andre and I made plans to go to the Celtic Fest that night. He needed to pass off his Mr. Pretty Legs crown. The kids were all set to go to grandma and grandpas house. I was contracting a lot by the time Andre got home but I was afraid to cancel our plans and then have labor fizzle out. All that false labor made me paranoid! So we went to the Celtic Fest and had a pretty good time even though I was contracting like crazy. We met some friends there and it was great to see them and share the excitement. The announcer said something about me being in labor so people were stopping us to ask if that was really true. It was pretty funny.

We walked around the fest for quite awhile and then went right to the hospital. I didn't think I was ready to be admitted yet, but I wanted to make sure Isaiah was okay, he wasn't moving much, and just to check where I was. In triage she said I was 3+cm and said I could stay there and walk for two hours and get checked again before I went home. We thought that was a good idea, I knew I wasn't going to be able to rest. The first hour of walking was intense, but I could handle it with Andre's help. But then it got much harder. Andre was so great supporting me, I was crying and really having a hard time. I already felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin and escape. But he calmed me down and led me back to triage and we talked with the midwife again. She said she could admit me based on my history of long back labors. They'd get the epidural hooked up soon and maybe I could get some rest. So we got in, called the Megans(my sister and the doula), and soon I had my epidural. I was hoping my back wouldn't hurt this time, but it felt just like the other two. So after I was all hooked up, the midwife checked me and found me to be 8 cms and totally effaced! Wow!! This will go down in history as one of the best moments of my life. I'd never dilated like that before. I really can't describe how exciting this was for me!

So the midwife said to get a little rest since I had a brand new epidural going. She said to just let them know if I felt any pressure or the urge to push. We rested and I dialed the rest of the way, so by 8 the next morning we started to work on pushing. It was exciting to get to feel that urge. With Aiden they told me when to push. Pushing felt great and I was so excited to be there. My back was hurting again, and that was frustrating but pushing helped focus my mind off it. So I pushed for 2 or 2 ½ hours in all sorts of positions. But nothing would get his head to move. The midwife was trying everything she could think of. She even called in a doc with an ultrasound to see just how his head was positioned so we could brainstorm more positions. I pushed for another hour after that but he still hadn't moved even the littlest bit. And my back labor was getting more and more intense. They gave me another full dose with the epidural and it wasn't even touching the back pain.

Then things got very familiar. It felt just like when Solstice was born. The hinting around about a c-section. The worried looks. She kept telling me to rest more and not get all tired out. And with the back pain escalating, I agreed to a c-section. I was devastated. But some how I'd known this was how this baby wanted out. I tried to put on a brave face, but the tears kept coming anyway.

They got me back in the O.R. pretty quickly. They were having a hard time getting me numb enough. There was a spot by my belly button that just wouldn't go numb. So they mega-dosed my epidural and now I still have spots that are asleep. While I was laying there on the table waiting, I noticed a familiar face. I knew my old friend Shadia worked in labor and delivery, and had been keeping an eye out for her, but didn't except to find her there in the O.R. It was a fun reunion and got my mind off being so afraid. And knowing she'd be there looking over things was so calming.

Soon they were ready to go and they called Andre in. I was doing pretty good at this point. Scared, but excited to finally see this boy. It was slow going since they have to be careful about all the old scar tissue. But soon they were lowering the curtain so I could see Isaiah Jack Henry come into the world. He was good and healthy looking right from the start and making lots of clear cries so I could breathe easier. His apgars were 8 and 9. He weighed 9'4 at birth. They had him swaddled up and in Andre's arms pretty quickly. I wanted to be able to hold him, but I got the shakes really bad at this point. I couldn't control my arms. I was trying to hold onto the arm rests to keep my arms still. My jaw was shaking so hard I kept biting my tongue. I wasn't feeling well at all and started to go in and out of sleep. I could hear them as they were stitching me back together, talking about blood loss and knicks here and there. I could feel it all, but without any pain. I could feel them suctioning blood and moving organs. It's a very strange feeling. Then they were finally done and we got to go to recovery.

I slowly started to feel a bit more human in recovery and got to finally hold this sweet boy of mine. The nurse I had was so awesome. She got Isaiah and I both stripped down so we could be skin to skin as he nursed for the first time. He was such a pro! I never even had to show him what to do. He's had perfect latch every time. It was beyond love at first sight. I'd had weird periods while pregnant where I would forget that I'd really have another kid after it was all said and done. So here it all really hit me and it was so comforting to know this little man was here to stay. Andre went out to gather up the family and let them come visit. Megan came in soon and my mom and step dad. Then my dad came in. Everyone was so excited and it made me feel so good to have their support. We were in recovery for a few hours and then went up to the smallest hospital room I'd ever seen! But it was cozy and at least a single (they were really crowded).

Being in the hospital wasn't too bad. I had a very psycho nurses. Seems like the night nurses are the weirdos. But people were very nice. I was able to move around pretty well. I think better than with Solstice. One thing I hated was the medicine they put in my epidural before they took it out. It did help with pain but it made me terribly itchy! I couldn't even sleep because I couldn't stop itching! And the really bad part was that it was long lasting medicine so it was that way for like 18 hours. I got out of bed pretty soon and took a shower. That helped me feel more human again. We got visits from friends and family. That was great too. It was so fun to see Solstice and Aiden met Isaiah! They are so sweet to him. Andre and I got a pretty good system down of taking turns with sleep. So I got lots of time to rest and heal. They are so good together, Isaiah would just hang out with him and then let him know when he needed to come back to me and eat.

And now we've been home for a few days and things are going pretty smooth. I've been making myself stay in bed most of the time and rest. My ankles have been swollen to outrageous sizes! And it is still complete agony to get out of bed. I feel like I was just sliced in half, pretty close anyway. But overall I think we've done pretty well.

Isaiah is such a good baby. He is the best breastfeeder ever. He's pretty calm most of the time. He sleeps great at night. I haven't felt over-tired at all. He is very alert and likes to look at everyone. He knows all our voices and gets excited when someone walks into the room and talks. We had the typical issue with a c-section, my milk didn't come in as fast as normal so he lost a little more weight then I'd like. But the visiting nurse I had was awesome and said at that point she should suggest formula, but she's also a lactation consultant and just encouraged me to just keep up what I'd been doing and my milk would come in soon and everything would be fine. It came in later that night and Isaiah had gained a few ounces already when we saw the pediatrician the next day. He's a perfectly healthy baby.

winter solstice

10 years ago on the winter solstice I spent hours and hours in the emergancy room at UofM hospital. I was just about 4 weeks pregnant after having just had a miscarriage in October. I had started bleeding and was absolutly terrified that I was losing another baby. Andre and I went to the er to get things checked out. I just had to know one way or another. I wasn't sure I could face another heartbreaking miscarriage but I knew if it was going to happen, I needed to know sooner than later.
I don't remember a whole lot of that evening in the hospital. I only remember the face of the man that did my blood work and that we waited for ever. Finally, after it was late and the dark of the night had sunk in, a very smiley doctor came in to talk to us. He said it was still early and anything could still happen, but for now- the baby was fine, its little heart was beating and the bleeding was still just an after affect of the previous miscarriage and would stop soon. He said to just try and relax and enjoy this baby because at that moment, he or she was fine.
I remember drivng home and looking at the lights out the window and thinking that I wanted to mark the day. I'd been so incredibly depressed after the miscarriage and finally felt happy and hopeful again that evening. I thought it was so fitting that this change in my heart happened on the winter solstice as the dark was about to be replaced by light. And so Andre and I thought it would be a fitting name for our baby on the way.
And so my Solstitce was named.

I hope to never forget...

You start like a little beast,
grunting, snorting, searching for your milk.
Impatient, acting half starved,
like a little piglet sniffing the ground.
When you latch the milk isn't instant
and so you throw your arms around,
kick you legs, turn your head side to side.
You pop off the nipple, then back on, off and on until
I hear you start to gulp.
One more kick, but not as hard.
You pull off from the breast one more time and
look up at me and smile.
Then back to work.
Gulping, one hand on each side,
kneading and massaging so the milk comes faster.
You lay limp in my lap, happily nursing.
Your eyes get a little sleepy and I
watch as they roll back in your head.
The gulping slows and your latch slips,
letting a trail of milk run down your chin.
You feel the sleep coming and try to fight it-
legs kick, arms out and with eyes closed now
your head turns side to side.
One last latch on, just to make sure its still there
and rest overcomes you.
If I stay very still, this is when I get to watch
the moment when eating becomes sleeping.

Do you know what happens when you start to feed a baby solid food?

Ah, yes... they poop more. And their poop suddenly gets stinky.

Isaiah is most certainly into food and there is no turning back. He was yelling at Andre yesterday when Andre was not sharing his ice cream (it was a bowl and a spoon, looks like food to Isaiah!). He loves dinner time and wolfs down more food than I've ever fed a 5 month old baby.

So, he's pooping like a champ now. It hit me yesterday as I heard him poop and poop and poop. Ohhhh, right, I remember this! (I have these moments a lot- 7 years is a long time to go in between kidlets). With the other two, they were in disposables at this age and it was such a mess! I remember especially with Solstice when we heard her starting, we'd quickly strip off all her clothes because the poo never stayed in the diaper.

It makes me so glad that we are using cloth right from the start with Isaiah and that I figured out the best diapering method. When he was first born, I used the really fancy "pocket" style diapers. They are great and easy, don't get me wrong- but they just were not right for his body shape and they take so long in the dryer. So I switched to the old fashioned style- rectangle shaped flat diapers with a snappi (I love this thing! but will switch to pins when this one breaks. It was a gift and a great invention but not something I'd buy myself) and Gerber vinyl plastic pants. This is the system my parents used and it still works great today. The plastic pants hold everything in- Isaiah has on a few occasions slept from 8pm to 8am (he nursed of course, but never really woke up) and those pants held every drop in! Thats really amazing. The only time they leak is if I didn't get all the cloth tucked into the pants. Also, using this style means less time in the wash and the dryer. And thats a great thing for me, our budget, and the environment.

Not exactly world shaking news, but its a big part of my life right now!

the experimentation with food continues...

Isaiah has been getting more and more interested with food. I've been making something he can eat every night for dinner. He likes sitting up in his highchair so he can see all of us around the table. And I think he is really enjoying being "big" like us and eating too.

Today he ate way more cereal than I would have guessed he could. I made more than I planned and he just kept eating. And he used a spoon too. Usually he just eats little bits off my finger.

I'm not really ready for him to grow up so fast! But as long as he continues to nurse as much as he is now, then we will continue to experiment.

I would never really complain, but...

There is nothing that would ever make me consider not breastfeeding Isaiah, but the two big challenges have both hit within the last week. I had mastitis all last week and although most of what I read said it's unlikely to get it in both sides, I did. Mastitis is an infection in the milk ducts. It's kind of like your breasts getting the flu. My whole body ached, my head throbbed and it felt like there were hot pokers shooting through my breasts all day every day. The only real way to heal it is to nurse more often, which is painful. The hardest part of mastitis is that I didn't look sick, so it was hard to get enough rest. I'm sure it would have cleared up sooner if I'd been able to rest more. Speaking of rest, the other hard part of breastfeeding this week has been lack of sleep. Isaiah is having a huge huge growth spurt. He looks bigger every morning when I look at him. But, he's wanting to nurse all night long. So I'm not getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time each night. Luckily we co-sleep so I don't have to get up and do much when he wakes me up. But even just laying there with him and talking to him while he settles back down and gets ready to eat himself to sleep is enough to make me feel like I'm exhausted. There is something about not getting solid hours of sleep all in a row that really takes a toll on the body. I'm so glad that I do sleep next to him. I'm sure people would tell me that if he was crib-trained and blah blah blah maybe he'd sleep more. But I know that this is the best option for everyone. I have no doubt abou that. This too shall pass and I'll get back to sleeping happily through the night.